We all know lying is a sin.
It's one of the 10 Commandments.
But what if I told you that sometimes, telling the truth can be sinful, too?
Seriously?
Yep. And I’m not talking about sneaky half-truths or evasive politician answers. I’m talking about real, verifiable, 100% certified truths…used in the wrong way.
Welcome to the spiritual landmine known as detraction...perhaps one of the most common and easiest of sins to commit.
In traditional Catholic teaching, two serious sins of the tongue are calumny and detraction.
Calumny is fairly straightforward: it’s falsely accusing someone. You damage their reputation by spreading something untrue.
That’s bad enough.
But detraction is more subtle - and often more dangerous.
Defining Detraction
Detraction is when we reveal something that is true - a real sin, a real failing - but we do it without just cause. The person listening has no need to know, and the one we’re talking about suffers harm as a result.
And yes, that’s a sin.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church puts it plainly:
“Without objectively valid reason, a person discloses another's faults and failings… [causing] unjust injury to his reputation” (CCC 2477).
In other words, the truth isn’t a free pass to say whatever we want. It must be ordered toward justice and charity, not curiosity or emotional release.
And this is where things get tricky.
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Since detraction isn’t rooted in falsehood, it’s so easy to rationalize it. We tell ourselves, “I’m just being honest” or “People need to know this.”
But in most cases, they don’t.
What we’re really doing is speaking without discernment...or charity...or humility.
And that has serious consequences.
In fact, St. Francis de Sales says detraction involves us in a kind of killing:
In chapter 29 of Introduction to the Devout Life, he writes, “The detractor, by one blow of his tongue, commonly commits three murders; he kills his own soul, and the soul of him who listens, and by a spiritual homicide takes away the civil life of the person whom he slanders; for as St. Bernard says, both he who detracts, and he who hearkens to the detractor, they have each the devil about them; the one has him in his tongue, and the other in his ear.” (Introduction to the Devout Life ch. XXIX)”
Sobering, isn't it?
You see, we often underestimate the power of our words, especially when they’re dressed up as concern, or disguised as “venting.”
But detraction harms everyone involved.
The Solution
The good news is that the Church doesn’t leave us guessing about how to handle this. Right between the Catechism’s sections on calumny and detraction, we find this simple but powerful instruction:
“To avoid rash judgment, everyone should be careful to interpret insofar as possible his neighbor’s thoughts, words, and deeds in a favorable way” (CCC 2478).
Basically, that means giving people the benefit of the doubt. Not jumping to conclusions. Not assuming the worst.
Of course, there are certainly situations where speaking up is absolutely necessary.
If someone is being harmed, if a serious injustice is taking place, or if remaining silent would allow evil to spread unchecked, then yes, we speak.
But even then, we must ask: Who should I speak to? What’s the most appropriate way to address this? Is my intention really to help, or to simply expose?
In other words, we have to take serious inventory of our motives. Our goal must always be redemption, not retaliation. Healing, not humiliation.
And here’s something worth remembering: Though we often like to act on the contrary, it's not like God doesn't know what's going on.
“Nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest,” says Luke 8:17.
In other words, no one really gets away with anything. One way or the other, everything is going to come to light. So we don’t need to carry the weight of exposing every wrong.
Ultimately, that’s God’s job, and He will do it perfectly.
A Plan of Action
So what do we do when we’re tempted to speak unnecessarily?
The best first step is often silence. Not passive-aggressive silence, or cold silence. Just a calm decision to hold your tongue.
And then? Pray.
Pray for the person involved. Pray for the grace to respond with charity. Pray for yourself - especially if you’ve been hurt.
Jesus tells us, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44).
It’s not easy. Sometimes this kind of prayer is offered through clenched teeth. But even the smallest, simplest prayer can release more grace than we imagine.
And that grace can transform hearts - including our own.
At the end of the day, the Christian life isn’t about keeping score.
It’s about becoming like Christ.
That means holding back when we want to lash out. It means trusting God to bring justice. And it means caring more about saving souls than settling scores.
So yes, the truth matters. But how we handle the truth matters just as much.
So let’s ask the Holy Spirit for the grace to hold our tongues when we should, speak only when necessary, and always aim for the salvation of every soul involved - ours included.
Because in the words of St. Francis de Sales:
“He who could deliver the world from detraction would free it from a great part of the sins of iniquity.”
Now that's a truth we can talk about all the time.
God bless!
Matthew
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